The Fellowship of the Bling
by A Cute But Psycho Bunny
Summary: The FotR, SPOOFED! Complete craziness. Cameos galore. And an OC to keep things interesting. Rated for swearing. Full summary inside.
1. 1 Frodo Gets a Visitor

**..:: Disclaimer ::..**

I do not own the Fellowship, or anyone in Middle Earth! The only one that is mine is my OC, and only her!

**..:: Blah, Blah, Blah ::..**

**PB**, "Okay, so it's a parody of the FotR. Yeah, I'll be throwing in lots of cameos whenever possible. Repetitive ones will be Agent Smith from the Matrix, Will Turner from PotC, and Paris and Odysseus from Troy; all for an obvious reason: to give poor Elrond, Legolas, and Boromir serious migraines! Hehehe. If you know other characters in other movies played by anyone in the movie with a big enough part, let me know. For example, Hidalgo. I'm not using this one cuz I've never seen the movie, but if you want him in, and can provide an adequate profile on him, then I will! Go ahead and suggest other people to be in them, you can even suggest yourself. Oh yeah, this is called the Fellowship of the Bling cuz I'm making Frodo wannabe ghetto-fab. Notice the wannabe part."

**..:: The OC ::..**

**Bob**, "Okay, so her name's Priscilla Bellanotte...."

**Steve**, "Her name in LotR, you idiot!"

**Bob**, "Oh, oops! Okay, her real LotR name is Giliath."

**PB**, "I don't own this name either. swee-haret179 gave me this name for a previous fic that was deleted by FanFic (swee-haret179, this is sort of like that fic, except hopefully legal this time. It'll probably turn out different, but I'll keep some parts of it.) It means 'host of stars'. Anyway, going on...."

**Jack**, "Okay, just to make Elrond's life even crazier (and to make things more interesting), she's an Elf! And not only is she an Elf, she's also Arwen's little sister!"

**Joe,** "That means hell for Aragorn, too, you know...."

**PB**, "EXCELLENT!"

**Bob**, "And if you're wondering what she looks like, think of Arwen, except younger!"

**Mike**, "And she doesn't act as regal as her sis and her dad, cuz if she did she'd be boring!"

**Bob**, "So, let the madness begin!"

* * *

**PB**, "Oh yeah, this'll be written in play form (like right now)."

**Steve**, "Yeah, thoughts will be in ''s, and actions will be in ()s."

**PB**, "Oh yeah, and just cuz that stuff at the beginning is rather boring, I'm cutting to where Frodo and Sam are getting ready to leave to Bree (Gandalf's in Isengard). Yes, I know, this spot doesn't exactly exist, but, then again, neither does dear little Priscilla! In the story, she'll be Giliath, but in my little A/N's, she'll be Priscilla."

**Mike**, "Or Priscilla Bellanotte."

**Joe**, "Or PB."

**PB**, "You can't use that, that's my name!"

**Bob**, "Okay, then LPB."

**Jack**, "Oh, I get it. Little Priscilla Bellanotte."

**Carl**, "That's a mouthful."

**Bob**, "Exactly. That's why she's LPB."

**PB,** "But only in our weird little side convos, mkay? Oh yeah, and 'O.o' is like a one-eyebrow look like how people look at you when you just did something REALLY weird and they're all, 'Dude, WTF?!'"

* * *

**..:: Chapter One – Frodo Gets a Visitor ::..**

Giliath pounded on that one door in the front at Bag End. "Frodo! FRODO! Open up this damn door! Stupid round hobbit doors...." she muttered.

Frodo opened the door. "Word up, my home dawg!" he yelled wannabe ghettoly. (**PB**, "That's not a real word, but I DON'T GIVE A BUNNY MAN'S ASS!") "What's the hap?"

'He's really got to stop with the wannabe ghetto shit,' Giliath thought. Out loud, she said, "Well, I was bored, so I felt like coming over. Is that okay?"

Sam's voice floated in from another room. "Mr. Frodo! Who's that?"

"What's Fatso doing here?" Giliath muttered.

"Oh, Gandizzle sent us on this weird-ass quest yo," Frodo said. "We gotsta take this bling right herrre to Rivendell to give to your pops, Elrizzle."

"You have to take a ring to my dad?" Giliath asked. 'O.o' "Well, that's a stupid quest. But why's Sam here?"

"Samizzle is herrrre cuz he was being a friggin eavesdropper when Gandizzle was telling me about Bizzle's bling. Apparently, it's this weird-ass bling wit power and shit to take over da world if it gets into the hands of this dude named Saurizzle."

"You mean Sauron," Giliath said.

"Yeah, Saurizzle," Frodo said, apparently unable to say anything without putting 'izzle' at the end of it. "So we have to watch out for him and his bitches –"

"Ringwraiths," Giliath corrected.

"Yeah, those things, cuz they wanna kill us and shit."

"Okay. When are we leaving?"

"As soon as Samizzle's done packing."

Sam walked in with all his cooking gear and other stuff not worth mentioning that probably isn't even needed but Sam's weird so he felt like bringing it and Frodo and Giliath can't argue cuz Sam's carrying everything and they're just going to walk in front of him and insult him so it doesn't really matter what he's carrying cuz I don't give a damn do you actually I don't care so this is one huge pointless run-on sentence so let's get back to the story already damn why are you still reading this I told you already it's a pointless run-on just go skip this stupid paragraph and get to the next one dang so anyway Sam walked in with a ton of useless crap.

"Okay, Mr. Frodo, let's go!" he said way too cheerfully for a guy carrying about 80 pounds of useless crap. Then he saw Giliath. "Who's she?"

"Giliizzle is herrre cuz she was bored so she's comin wit us to Rivendell, aight?" Frodo said.

"Whatever, Mr. Frodo," Sam said with a shrug.

"Okay," Frodo said. "So we gotsta go meet Gandizzle in Bree."

"Oh, you mean at the Inn of the Prancing Pony," Giliath said.

"NO, at the Izzle of the Dancizzle Phonizzle," Frodo corrected. "The Izzle of the Prancizzle Pizzle's actually a stripper club when you go through the back door."

"How would you know that?" Giliath asked, interested.

"Uh....." Frodo stuttered. "Pippizzle told me."

"Pippin's been to a stripper club?" Sam gasped. "And he didn't take me?"

Giliath rolled her eyes and pulled her shirt up two whole inches.

Sam screamed like a little girl and covered his eyes. "You shouldn't be showing so much skin!" he squealed.

"And that's why Fro – I mean **Pippin** – didn't take you to the stripper club," Giliath said. "So, are we going or what?"

* * *

**PB**, "Okay, so that's it for now! Yes, Frodo suffers from izzleitis. Everyone gets an izzle at the end of their name. Oh yeah, and Giliizzle is pronounced Gill-ee-izzle. Izzle of the Prancizzle Pizzle Inn of the Prancing Pony; Izzle of the Dancizzle Phonizzle Inn of the Dancing Phony. Up next: Merrizzle and Pippizzle! Now go review!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**PB** (again!), "Yeah, this chappie was edited and reposted because I got a review from a lovely person named Annoyed. If you're reading this, Oh Anonymous One, THANK YOU! According to him/her/it, I'm not allowed to write in script form. I didn't exactly believe him/her/it until I checked my friend's profile-which-I-didn't-know-existed-until-today-cuz-she-didn't-tell-me-till-then-cuz-I-never-asked-so-yeah, and she got some of her stories deleted cuz of that! So, I'm not sure of it (I've found lots of stories written in script form), but I will now be writing like this to stay on the safe side. Yep, my A/N's are gonna be weird now! Hehehe....Also, to the other little comment from Annoyed, I DON'T GIVE A BUNNY MAN'S ASS IF YOU THINK RANDOM HUMOR ISN'T FUNNY! If you don't like it, why did you read my fic? Parodies are random humor! Well, the ones I've read. I consider this close enough to sort of almost a flame, so you know what that means!"

**Bob**, "S'MORES FOR EVERYONE!!!!"

**PB**, "Yep! Review and get a cyber-s'more! See?" l0l0l "Okay, it's not the best cyber-s'more, but, hey, in mine you get double marshmallows!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

**PB (again and again)**, "Okay, so this was reposted AGAIN cuz the whole story got deleted, so, if you're confused, then that's why."

**Bob**, "She's too lazy to take down her old A/Ns."

**PB**, "Yeah, so go review!"


	2. 2 Merizzle and Pippizzle

**..:: Chapter 2 – Merizzle and Pippizzle ::..**

**PB**, "Okay, so we're cutting to the cornfield thing where Sam's all, 'This is it,' mkay?"

* * *

Sam stopped right in the middle of a cornfield. "This is it," he said. 

"What's it?" Giliath asked.

"One more step and it'll be the farthest I've ever been away from home," Sam said.

"Yep, and one more step and it'll be the farthest **I've **ever been from a stripper club," Frodo said. He took another step. "DAMN!"

"Riiiight," Giliath said. 'O.o'

Merry and Pippin came bursting into view and tripped over Giliath's conveniently extended foot.

"Ow! What the fuck, man?" Pippin yelled.

"Dude, you don't talk to an Elf like that!" Merry yelled to Pippin. "Sorry about my friend," he said to Giliath.

"Would you stop with the chivalry already?" Giliath snapped. "It really freaks me out."

"I think that's why he does it," Pippin said.

"You've been stealing Farmer Maggot's crops again, haven't you?" Sam asked Merry and Pippin suspiciously.

Pippin looked down at his armful of crops. "No, not really. Just some weed, and tobacco, and cocaine..."

"And his booze," Merry said, holding up several bottles of Heneiken, Coors Light, Miller Light, and Budweiser.

Pippin bent down and picked something up off the ground. "What's this?" he asked.

"Oh, gross!" Giliath said. "That's a dildo!"

"Did you say Bilbo?" Sam asked.

"No, a dildo!" Giliath said.

"Yo, what's a dildo?" Frodo said.

Giliath sighed. "Frodo, how is it that you've been to a stripper club –"

"Seven," Frodo interrupted.

"What?"

"Seven stripper clubs," Frodo said.

"Okay, **seven** stripper clubs, but you don't know what a dildo is?" Giliath said. "It's bad enough that you're so wannabe-ghetto fab," she muttered.

"Huh?" Frodo said.

"Nothing," Giliath said quickly, plastering on an innocent little girl face.

"So, dawg, what's a dildo?" Frodo asked.

"It's that thing you have in your pants, except it's fake," Giliath said.

"What, it's a fake PlayHobbit Magazine?" Frodo said, pulling an issue of PlayHobbit out of his pants.

"What? No – oh, ew, you sick, nasty hobbit!" Giliath yelled, snatching the magazine from him. "Why do you keep this in your pants?"

Frodo shrugged. "Why not?"

Giliath was a combination of grossed out, furious, and annoyed. The result wasn't very flattering on her, especially since she was an Elf. "Don't you **ever** read this shit again!"

"Well, you don't exactly **read** what's in there," Frodo said.

"Just don't get these anymore!" Giliath said.

"Dang, that's the only one I have anyway," Frodo said. "_Momizzle_," he muttered.

"I heard that," Giliath said. "I have Elf ears, you know."

"Okay, so WHAT IS A DILDO??" Frodo demanded.

"It's a fake dick," Giliath said.

"Oh, that's what is?" Frodo said. "Oh yeah, that one transsexual stripper had one."

"What were you doing with a transsexual stripper?" Giliath asked.

"Well, it was Gays and Lesbians night thur, but Pippizze thought it'd be funny not to tell me," Frodo said.

"It _was_ funny!" Pippin said.

"Yeah, he got totally drunk and hooked up with a lesbo," Merry said.

Giliath looked up and saw a sickle thing on a stick floating over cornfield stalks and heard ramblings. "Come back here with my booze!"

"Do we run?" Pippin asked.

"Not yet," Giliath said. She grabbed the dildo and chucked it at Farmer Maggot's head. There was a thud, then a yell, then a "Hey, my dildo!". Then, "Hey, what were you doing with my dildo? Get your asses back over here!"

"Okay, _now_ we run," Giliath said.

Pippin, Merry, Giliath, and Frodo ran up to the edge of the cliff and stopped. Sam, being the idiot that he is, bumped into them and sent them all tumbling over the cliff. Somehow, Giliath managed to land on her feet, but the hobbits landed in a tangled heap.

"I think I broke something," Merry wheezed. He picked up a broken carrot. "Oh, never mind."

"Nooooo! You broke the carrot! What'd it ever do to you?" Pippin sobbed.

"Um," Sam, Frodo, Merry, and Giliath said. 'O.o'

"Uhh...." Pippin said. "Hey, look! Mushrooms!"

Sam, Merry, and Pippin tackled each other to get to the mushrooms first. Far off, Giliath saw Ringwraith riding towards them.

"Yo, Giliizzle, why are you staring off into space?" Frodo said.

"I wasn't staring off into space," Giliath said. "There's a Ringwraith coming."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Because I have weird super-far-seeing eyesight cuz I'm an Elf!" Giliath said.

"Oh yeah," Frodo said. "I keep forgetting you're an Elf."

"You'd think the fact that I'm taller than you and have pointy ears is a dead giveaway," Giliath said.

Not so far off anymore, Frodo and Giliath both heard a weird Nazgul cry.

"Shit! We need to get off the road!" Frodo yelled.

"But – the mushrooms...." Sam stuttered.

"Screw the mushrooms!" Frodo snapped. "We need to get off the fucking road **now**!"

"Fine, Mr. Huffypants," Pippin said sullently.

They all scrambled under some conveniently located tree roots. The Ringwraith rode by and stopped right above them, and started sniffing around. Frodo started reaching for PlayHobbit again. Giliath slapped his hand, and the Ringwraith seemed to hear them. Giliath threw PlayHobbit as far away as she can, and the Ringwraith ran after it.

"Ooh! The new issue of PlayHobbit!" the Ringwraith said in a weird hissing voice far away.

"No! My issue of PlayHobbit!" Frodo yelped.

"Dude, get over it," Giliath said.

Frodo muttered incoherently.

"What was that?" Giliath asked.

"Nothing," Frodo said.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The Ringwraith caught up to them as they walked around in the woods. They all ran for a raft about 500 feet away. Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Giliath jumped on. They turned around to see Ringwraith coming after them at full-gallop. Frodo, meanwhile, was running in slow motion.

"Why the hell is he running in slow motion?" Merry asked.

"He's watched Baywatch one too many times," Pippin said.

"Frodo! Speed it up!" Giliath yelled.

Frodo kept running in super-dramatic slow motion, and the Ringwraith actually ended up passing him. (**PB**, "If you've seen that one scene with Pumbaa running after the part with Nala and Rafiki in Lion King 1 ½, then you know what we mean.") The Ringwraith stopped and started to turn around, and Frodo finally sped up and ran right through the horse's legs.

Frodo dove onto the raft. "Ki-yaaaa!" he yelled. "Go me, go me, I totally outran the Rizzlerathizzle!"

"Um," Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Giliath said. 'O.o'

* * *

**PB**, "Hm, am I being too cruel to poor Frodo? Well, no worries, he'll getter after he volunteers to take the bling to Mordor. He'll still have izzleitis (he'll have it for the whole story), but he won't be as wannabe ghetto-fab. So, whaddya think? Review!" 


	3. 3 The Dancizzle Phonizzle

**..:: Chapter 3 – The Dancizzle Phonizzle ::..**

**PB**, "Sorry it took so long to update! I'll work on updating sooner, I promise! Check my profile for news/updates/stuff like that. Since it's so much fun, all the chappie titles will be in izzle-from from now on, mkay? Translation: The Dancing Phony. I think we all know who that's going to be..."

**Bob**, being an idiot, "FRODO!"

**Steve**, "Are you kidding? Frodo can't dance for shits!"

**PB**, "PSP, you're such an idiot."

**LPB**, reading FotR, "Hey guys. What's up?"

**BBJJSMC**, falling out of chairs, "AAAHHH! Where'd you come from?"

**LPB**, "Well, I _am_ a real live imaginary person. So I felt like reading FotR, TT, and RotK."

**Mike**, "You're planning on reading FotR, TT, and RotK in the next two minutes?"

**LPB**, "No. I read TT first, then RotK, and now I'm almost done with FotR."

**Carl**, "...?"

**LPB**, speed-reading FotR, "Okay, I'm done now."

**Bob**, "So now you're a complete know-it-all about LotR and you know everything's that's gonna happen?"

**LPB**, "Yup. And cuz I'm such a know-it-all, I've mysteriously watched all 3 movies, too, and PotC."

**Billy**, "When did this happen?"

**LPB**, "Well, since I'm a real live imaginary person, it only makes sense that I can do real live imaginary things. But only in rare moments."

**Jack**, "Like now."

**LPB**, "Exactly."

**PB**, "Well, then, I guess this makes this fic a Mary Sue parody, then. Eh, it was headed in that direction anyway. Now get back in the story!"

**LPB**, "Fine! Don't gotta be so huffy about it."

* * *

Frodo, Giliath, Pippin, Merry and Sam all walked up to the gate in Bree in rain that came up out of nowhere. 

"Stupid come-up-out-of-nowhere rain in Bree," Giliath muttered. Then, since she was the tallest, she knocked on the door.

The old weird gatekeeper guy opened that peep-hole-that-is-really-a-big-square-and-I-don't-know-what-they-call-those-things. "Whaddya want?" he said.

"To get in, no duh! So let us in!" Giliath snapped (Pissed off female elves and rain really don't mix).

"Sure, I will," the gatekeeper said. "For a price."

"What do you want?" Giliath asked.

"I want..." the gatekeeper said, "A FORTUNE COOKIE!"

"...That's all?" Giliath said. "Okay, then." She pulled a random fortune cookie from out of nowhere. "Here you go."

The gatekeeper read the fortune. "Hey, this thing says I'll be squashed flatter than lembas bread within the hour!"

"Well, that's a crummy fortune!" Pippin piped up. "Hahaha, get it? Crummy fortune, cuz it's a fortune cookie...I crack myself up!"

"Eh? Who's down there?" the gatekeeper said, squinting into the rain – which is pointless, since you can't really see anything in both the rain and the dark.

"Just 4 annoying hobbits," Giliath said. "So, will you let us in?"

"Eh, why not?" the gatekeeper said, and he let them in.

On one side of the street was a dark and dreary inn with a sign reading "The Inn of the Dancing Phony". On the other side was a lit-up, colorful inn with a sign reading "The Inn of the Prancing Pony". From the Inn of the Prancing Music, a certain song along the lines of _voulez-vouz coucher avec moi ce soir_ was playing.

"Hey, that's that one song Christina Aguilera, Lil Kim, Mya, and Pink did for the Red Windmill," Giliath said, being the know-it-all that she now is.

"Dude!" Frodo said. "It's _la nuit des courtisanes_ at the Prancizzle Ponizzle! We gotta go!" He tried to run to the Inn of the Prancing Pony, but Giliath grabbed his arm.

"I don't think so," she said. "Come on, loser."

"Why, hello!" the innkeeper said when they went in. "If you'd like, we have a room with four hobbit sized beds."

"Thanks!" Frodo said. "We'll take them!"

"Oh, so I suppose I'll just sleep standing up, then, shall I?" Giliath snapped.

"Well, DUH!" Frodo said.

"I'll need to know your name," the innkeeper said.

"Oh, sure. Frodizzle Bag-"

"(cough)Underhill(cough)," Giliath coughed.

Frodo ignored her. "Frodizzle Ba-"

"(cough)UNDERHILL!(cough)," Giliath coughed again.

"Do you need a cough drop or something?" Frodo asked Giliath, rather irritated.

Giliath rolled her eyes.

"Oh!" Frodo said, finally remembering. "Oh yeah, what Gandizzle said. Yeah, my name's Undizzlehizzle."

"Underhill, eh?" the innkeeper said. "That's the worst pseudonym I've ever heard. Whatever, you'll probably be under the hill soon, anyway."

So Frodo and Co. decided to sit around drinking ale, except for Giliath, who was staring at some dude who was smoking a pipe and staring at Frodo, because Elves don't drink, but even if they did, Giliath didn't because Elrond never let her, being the strict dad that he is.

"Come on, Giliath, have some ale!" Pippin said cheerfully, swinging his ale around.

"No, I'm okay, you go ahead and drink mine," Giliath said.

"Okay, then," Pippin said in a suit-yourself way, chugging still more ale.

"Hey, Innkeeper dude person," Giliath said to the innkeeper passing by. "Who's that guy?" She pointed to the dude smoking a pipe, still staring and Frodo.

"Oh, him?" the innkeeper said. "That's the Dancing Phony. He comes by so much we decided to name the inn after him."

"Why's he called the Dancing Phony?" Merry asked.

As if in answer to his question, the Dancing Phony dropped his pipe, jumped onto a conveniently located table, and threw off his cloak to reveal a loose gold billowing shirt with red and magenta stripes, very tight black pants, and black leather boots.

And, as if things couldn't get any more random, Giliath was suddenly struck with an urge to be an activist. "Murderer!" she screamed. "A cow had to die just for you to have those boots, you know!!!!"

Everyone in the inn turned and stared at her while several conveniently located crickets conveniently decided to chirp at that very moment.

"Um...I mean..." Giliath said. "Nice shirt!"

Since all the people in the inn really cared about was their ale, they all shrugged and went back to spilling the stuff through their beards. (eeewwwww....) Then the Dancing Phony started Riverdancing on the table to – well, Riverdancing music. Then the music changed to beepboxing, and the Dancing Phony started breakdancing like in You Got Served, except he was on a table in an inn with a really dorky outfit on. The music ended, and the Dancing Phony did a full twist off the table and landed on the floor in the splits.

* * *

(**PB,** "I have no clue if that's even humanely possible, and it must be pretty painful for him since he's a guy and all, but, oh, well. If you don't know what a twist is, well, I think that's what it's called. It's that one thing like in Bring It On that Missy does at the end of her tryout thingie. Okee, back to the story.")

* * *

"Word, that was pimp!" Frodo said. "I gotsta try that!" 

Everyone looked on in pity as Frodo attempted to breakdance, failed miserably, looking like a dying jellyfish (**PB: **I have no clue what that looks like, but, just go with it), and ended up tripping over his own big, ugly, hairy hobbit feet. He fell over onto the ground, and the ring flew up into the air. Frodo reached for it, and the ring slid down his middle finger instead of bouncing off and probably getting lost under the tables like any other ring would.

Everyone stared as the suspense music played, waiting for something to happen, all holding their breath –

And, about five minutes later, they all started collapsing onto the floor because, like idiots, they decided not to breathe. OF COURSE NOTHING HAPPENED!

"Erm, aren't you supposed to like, disappear and shit like your uncle did at his 111th birthday?" Giliath said.

Frodo glared at the ring. "Stupid thing must be broken!"

The Dancing Phony walked over. "That was a pitiful attempt at breakdancing," he said. "Totally pathetic."

"Whoa, dude," Giliath said. "You were so channeling Simon from American Idol right then."

"Who?" the Dancing Phony asked. "Your little friend needs to take dance lessons. Pitiful thing tripped over his own feet." And he walked away like some high-and-mighty Brit. (**PB,** "No offense to any Brits out there! I'm just talking about someone like Simon.")

"Word, is you insulting my peeps?" Frodo said, and flipped the Dancing Phony off. Immediately, he disappeared.

"Ohhhh," Giliath said. "He has to flip someone off for it to work."

"Acutally," the Dancing Phony said to Invisible-Frodo-who-was-just-chilling-there-like-an-idiot-all-invisible-and-shit, "I was insulting you."

"Oh, I see how it is!" Frodo's disembodied voice yelled. Then, even though no one could see him do it, he flipped off the Dancing Phony again, and reappeared.

"I can make myself unnoticed," the Dancing Phony said, "But to disappear entirely – that is a rare gift." And without another corny word, he grabbed Frodo and ran.

"Yo, but that don't make no sense, yo," Frodo was yelling. "You're wearing a friggin gold shirt!"

"Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled, and started running after them. He stopped and turned around. "Hey, aren't you going to help us?" he asked Giliath, who had pulled out an emery board.

Giliath inspected her nails. "Nah," she said.

Sam, Merry, and Pippin glanced at each other, shrugged, and went running after Frodo and the Dancing Phony. After giving herself a French manicure, Giliath decided to go look for them. She walked into a room to see them all sitting in a circle and – you guessed it – drinking more ale.

"So, Strider," Sam said. "What's your real name?"

"My real name........." Strider trailed off, going into a trance.

"Yes?" Merry said after two minutes of silence.

"Huh?" Strider said, snapping out of his trance. "Oh, yes! It's Eragon!"

Eragon crashed through the window WITHOUT GETTING ANY GLASS ON HIMSELF OR ANYONE ELSE. Convenient, eh?

"You're not Eragon!" Eragon yelled. "I am! And that's my dragon, Saphira!" He pointed out the window where a large blue dragon was having the time of her life chasing screaming Ringwraiths around in little circles until, scared out of their minds, the Ringwraiths jumped on their horses and galloped away. "Haha, I have a dragon and YOU DON'T!" He laughed insanely.

"Um.......okay then," Giliath said. 'O.o'

Eragon coughed. "Well, anyway, **his** name's Aragorn."

"Who?" Sam, Merry, Frodo, and Pippin asked.

"Aragorn, son of Arathorn, also known as Estel, soon to be King Elessar, boyfriend/future husband of Arwen Undomiel, daughter of Elrond the Elf; played by the actor Viktor Morris, whom many find irresistible – though I think Omar Blue is hotter – who is also in the movie Hidalgo and talks in a weird-ass accent," Giliath said, talking _very_ quickly. (**PB,** "I'm not an idiot! I know their real names, I just can't use them.")

"Did you say he's an Elf?" Eragon asked.

"No, **I'm** an Elf," Giliath said, exasperated. "**He's** a Man, like you. Stupid mortals," she muttered under her breath.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm supposed to be somewhere right now," Eragon said. "Um...that is...uh..." He trailed off, trying to remember where he was supposed to be.

"(cough)Rescue Elf(cough)," Giliath coughed.

"Eh? What was that?" Eragon asked.

"GO RESCUE YOUR ELF!!!" Giliath yelled.

"Oh, yeah! Thanks, wise-ass Elf!" Eragon said, and jumped out the window onto Saphira. There was an "OW!" of pain when he landed in her saddle.

"Show-off," Giliath muttered.

"What were you saying about me?" Strider/the Dancing Phony/NOT Eragon/Aragorn/Estel/boyfriend-and-future-hubby-of-Arwen/Viktor Morris/not-as-hot-as-Omar Blue/damn-this-dude-has-a-lot-of-names asked.

"Um...that you were Arwen's boyfriend?" Giliath said.

"Oh, I thought you said a lot more than that, but, okay," Aragorn said with a shrug.

* * *

**PB,** "Okay, that's it for now! In the next chappie, they'll be at Weathertop, cuz the whole breakfast/second breakfast is kinda old. And Saphira chased away the Ringwraiths, so no stabbing beds. Anywayz, go review!" 


End file.
